Fedoras in the closet
by Danny-stri
Summary: When dave finally gets the chance to visit his best friend, John, for the first time hes expecting the best week of his life. But will his older bro's shinanagans make his week full of chaos? - Brodad with hints of pepsicola but its not necissarily a johndave fic, they're just bro's-
1. Chapter 1

**I'm going to get this straight now. There are traces of pepsicola here but it's not necessarily a johndave fic. Don't let whose point of view it is fool you. This is straight up brodad. Straight up. But there is a lot of Dave and John being all like cutesy bros and shit. Hope you enjoy, unless you don't want brodad, or john and Dave being best bros. then I wish you luck on your quest to find a fanfiction of your liking. **

** -Danny~Stri **

* * *

It was another hot summer, a boring one to. However, you've never been as excited as you are now, not since you were a little kid. Funny isn't it? How we'd get so excited over stuff we think is dumb now. But you could forget all the times your bro let you pick out a candy for yourself at the store. You're not a dumb four year old now. No, you were excited for a much better reason today. Your brother told you only an hour ago that he would take you to Washington to meet your best friend, John Egbert. Now you lay in bed, grinning at the plane tickets your bro told you to keep track of. And waiting for your friend to wake up and get online. Stupid time zones. Though you can't blame him for sleeping in until the afternoon, you would have to if your brother hadn't have woken you up.

The hum of your iPhone vibrating on the bed makes you almost jump with excitement. That blue texting asshole pal of yours finally woke up and said something. You couldn't help but skip reading the message and go straight to calling the Washingtonian.

The line rings, but after hours of begging your brother you're gonna' call your bro.

The line rings, this fucker is going to piss himself.

The line rings, I swear to god Egbert answer, you lil' shit.

No answer.

You groan overdramatically, loud enough it might qualify as a scream but that's not necessarily a masculine term.

Your phone rings and you pick up immediately. Fucking Egbert always does this.

"Yo, Egbert guess what" You start trying to sound cool like always, you probably sound like an overly excited dork, you try not to acknowledge this.

"No. you have to fucking guess." You hate when people just ask what when you tell them to guess.

"Yes, I did finish that new mashup, but that's not worthy of a phone call. You know how you were saying if I was able to go up there your dad would let me and my bro chill at your place for like a week?" you listen to his suspicious 'yeahhh?' on the other end, as if he has no fucking idea.

"Well guess what my bro did" he says he doesn't know, but you know he just doesn't like to assume things. He thinks it's rude.

"He had some extra cash and said why the fuck not take a trip to Washington! I swear to god dude, I have the best bro ever." It almost sounds like your best bro squeaked on the other line. You don't care; if you heard something like that you would have been on the floor. He asks when you'll be over

"Next week." You say clutching your plane tickets with your hand, the power of the god's surges through your muscles at the smallest thought of when the time comes that you get to hug your best bro for the first time. That fucker is going to be grass after that sweet hug. Your conversation goes on, almost for hours, about stuff you'll do together, and an assortment of other random bullshit. John says you have an accent, but you don't. Your bro probably has more of an accent than you. John has an accent to though. A weird Washington accent. You can't wait to hear that accent in person.

Never before has the earth's rotation slowed as much as it has this week. But finally you're on the city bus with your brother Headed straight to the airport. You hope it's less hot in Washington. Then you'll have more energy to goof off with John. You'll probably still have to wear sun block. You hate how sensitive your skin is, it'd be great if you could walk in the sun without having to wear sunglasses to. But you can barely open your eyes without them with that giant fucking light bulb in the sky. You suddenly wonder if your bro will think you're dumb because you can't handle a little sun. You can. You'd turn yourself red as a lobster to prove that fucker you can handle the he-

You feel your brother pat your shoulder and you snap out of your weird thought pattern. You look to him, wondering why he needed your attention.

"So Dave, you been sleeping well this week? Or are ya' too excited?" You silently apologize to the world for thinking your brother is so much more of a badass because of his subtle drawl.

"I can sleep on the way there, fuck plane rides. More like a bed ride" Your brother chuckles at you. He says your jokes are 'cute' and that your comics are 'hysterical'. Sometimes you wonder if he just laughs at your dumb jokes so you're not discouraged. But john laughs at your jokes to, so maby its not that.

"Your friend's dad pretty nice, on the phone I mean."

"Yeah, he's pretty chill I guess." Like you care.

"Maby I'll make a good friend like you. Ya' think Dave?"

"No way, the sky will explode before someone makes a better friend than me and John." You laugh.

"Ya' sound like you're plottin' to marry the kid." If you had been drinking coffee it would now be on the fat guy sitting across from you.

"That's so weird dude, no way!" you say. Johns like a bro. People don't marry bros. Do they? Even if they do you're probably never going to marry anyone "Marriage is probably a pain in the ass anyways." You say.

"It probably is dave." You know your bro understands when you say stuff like that, but you always have a backup statement just in case you think you might have offended him. You don't judge him for his sexual preference. It's cool if your bro's into the butts and not the boobs. You're not necessarily into the butts yourself. On the other hands you're not necessarily into the boobs either. You've questioned your sexuality plenty of times; you don't think you have one. Maby you're just not old enough yet. Who knows who cares? What should it matter? You'd rather marry a tree than a jerk anyways, no matter what their genitalia may consist of. You wonder why you're thinking of this. You should be thinking of chilling with your bro. You should be not so sleepy. God you want to pass out right here on this bus. You'll wait until you get on the plane. This is your stop anyways.

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	2. Chapter 2

_You love being taller than john. It's your favorite thing ever. You both love being competitive toward each other, this fact makes it easier to build yourself up. Not that that doesn't all get knocked down by both of your laughter. You wonder why it's snowing in summer. Why is this thing? This snow fort is great though. So you don't care. Snow isn't as cold as you'd imagined. Wow, what a fun time. _

_ "Hey john, we're like penguins."_

_ "Hey Dave, we are penguins." You blink and you're both penguins, you don't question it. This is fucking hysterical. You're both laughing so hard, this is so great. You love johns little Washington laugh. Oh fuck no this snow fort is noT FALLING DOW-_

"Dave, wake the fuck up." You wonder where your bro might be but that snow is heavy on your shoulder. Wait. This is illogical. You open your eyes and you're on a plane. It's on the ground. An old flight attendant looks a bit annoyed with you as you sit up from the window. Fuck the flight attendant, you're in Washington, and there's your bro, moving his hand from your shoulder and telling you to get the fuck up. Of course you do, you scramble up and take your bag from your brother. Hot damn this is going to be great. God you're hungry, you think following your brother into the airport. You hate how this one is different from the one in Texas, and that from the one in, you don't even remember where it was. You don't give a shit, you just want to get out of here, eat, and see your best friend.

"Hey bro you hungry?" You ask, hoping he'll say;

"Yea, let's get some food lil' man." Which he does. God you love him.

He takes you to a nice little deli place not far from the airport. And you get a nice freshly made sandwich. Is it just you or does handmade food taste like heavens clouds? You wonder why your bro just got something to drink. Coffees nice you guess, it's not necessarily filling though. He doesn't even drink all of it, he gets up, _where is he going? The bathroom? _

"Hey dave, I'm gonna' go outside and call your friends dad while you eat. He was sayin' he could pick us up the last time I talked to 'Im."

"Oh, okay." You say. You hate eating alone. You use to do it a lot when your bro had to work at night. That was before he started his own business though. Now he eats with you a lot more. You love that. He wanders outside, maby you'll have time to plan out some weird fantasy adventure with John. Washington is probably boring, what do you know. You keep getting distracted by your brother; he keeps pacing right in front of your window. . . He's taking an awful long time. What's with that look on his face? He's talking about getting a ride right? Must be some ride he's talking about. Wait. Is he really talking about that kind of ride? Is he flirting with your best friend's dad? Doesn't he have like a wife or something? Maby Mr. Egbert can't take a hint. You swear to god, if your bro is flirting with your best friend's dad you're going to die from embarrassment, and bring yourself back to life to kill yourself for being so embarrassed in front of your best bro.

When your bro finally walks back into the shop he picks up another coffee and sits across from you with a smug ass smile sitting on his face.

"Phone call went well?" You ask awkwardly.

"Yeah, your friend and his papa's gonna' be here in about fifteen minutes." You nod. That was not their whole conversation. You hope he was just having a good time talking about how happy he is for his little bro.

"So, what d'ya think the first thing you'll do with John will be?" Your bro asks you. And you prepare yourself to waste those fifteen minutes of waiting. But halfway through your story about you guys sword fighting your way past a bunch of evil little bastard creatures and flying into space the waiter takes away your plates and cups and your bro suggests you finish the story outside. You take the conversation outside, waiting outside the deli, your bag carelessly listening on the ground as you explain the adventure to your bro. You're not even finished with your story when a white car pulls over in front of your little strider duo. The man in the driver seat tilts his fedora, and A young man who's familiar to you only from video chats bursts out of the backseat, nearly tripping over the curb as he runs over calling your name. He practically knocks you over as he hugs you. You squeeze him like he's a little girl's teddy bear. Holy shit, this is it, you think to yourself. It's my best fucking friend.

You both let go after a few seconds and stare at each other in silence. He's slightly taller than you, and he seems to have expected you to have been taller to. You both grin and burst out laughing, and beginning small conversation before your bro says we probably shouldn't just spend our week in front of the deli.

Mr. Egbert gets out of the car to. "You two should probably chat in the car; we can deal with your stuff." He says picking up your bag.

"Alright daddy!" John says, excited to talk to you. He grabs your hand and escorts you to the backseat as the 'adults here' put your stuff, along with your bro's into the trunk. You can't hear what they're saying. But their tone is going to fuck with you forever- wait. Did John just call his dad 'Daddy'? How precious. You'll save this for TT.

"So John what kind of shit do you do in Washington?"

"Not a lot actually. You usually have to make things fun yourself. But that's funner than fun being provided" wow he's cheeky; you don't know if his smile is happier than yours right now. But god you already know this week is going to be great.

"Well we can do that, we're pretty cool guys" he laughs, but something's been nagging at you during this conversation. "Gee, you sound a lot different than on the phone Egbert."

"Well you do to." He says in response "But you still have that funny accent." He chuckles. You don't think there's anything he likes more than a good laugh.

"Hey you have the accent!" Though the car door seems to end your conversation as you watch John's dad take over the wheel in front of you, and your bro climb into the passenger seat, both laughing, they must have been joking as well.

"Again thanks for the ride." Your bro says. You watch him put on his seatbelt, he's always been weird about cars. And he never likes to drive them. This is why you're use to public transportation. But you've never asked him why he doesn't like cars.

"Oh, yes. It's no problem. My boy has been excited to see Dave all week."

"Dave to, I might have to get pretty fond of hangin' out with you if my bro won't be around to entertain me." Is that fucker flirting with John's dad again!?

"Oh, I don't think I'll mind your company" He says in response. _Is . . . Is he checking out my bro?!_ You think, your jaw dropping. You close your mouth quickly and glance at John. _Why is he so okay with this?! Don't tell me he was expecting it! Wait. He doesn't notice does he!? He doesn't! _You now realize this week is going to be more challenging than you expected.

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	3. Chapter 3

**So, I was not expecting this to be more than one chapter, so I guess I'm making it a thing right now. Yes I know what everyone who's gotten this far is thinking. "Why the fuck are you writing a brodad fic from daves perspective" Well, I can explain that when the time comes. But I'm not crazy. Okay I'm a writer, I am crazy. Being a writer makes you automatically crazy. But, I have reason behind it. I hope whoever's reading sticks around, because there'll be more chapters to come for sure. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy. **

**Also I know john's neighborhood isn't canon. Please don't like be all weird about it. Because I live in Washington I'm kind of just using my imagination based on places I've been within the state? There's not that many suburban neighborhoods that look like johns around where I live so. **

***Note**

Walking through John's house was . . . well. You have no idea how to explain it besides a circus. Funny pictures on the walls, clowns everywhere, the colors are kind of pretty, but it's not really your thing. Before John helped you ditch them, your bro seemed really interested in the clowns and puppets. You couldn't have expected less, he's always had a fascination with puppets and bright colors . . . and tall dark haired men in ties, but you don't want to think about that. Ever. You'll just stay focused on John, and his extremely clean room.

"So Dave you can set your stuff wherever, and we can probably forget about it till later." John instructs you.

"Alright man." You say sitting on his bed. You don't think you've seen such a clean room for a long time. "How do you keep your room so clean?" You ask with a snarky smile.

"Its easy bro, I just pick up my stuff after I've used it." He says as if that's an easy thing. Your room is probably the messiest place on earth. You could literally win an award for being so messy. But you're not disorganized. You can find pretty much anything you want any time of the day. "Why don't you ever take off your glasses cool kid?" He says jokingly, he knows you have sensitive eyes.

"I don't know why don't you take off yours Egbert?"

"Because I'd be blind." He says sitting beside you.

You guys joke around for a while, John loves joking, and you find it entertaining to, and it's become natural for you to joke around since you enjoy being such a smartass. Yes, you freely call yourself a smartass, but that's because you do it ironically, you know when to stop. But after a good while of making jokes John stops the chain of jokes

"Hey Dave!" he says pointing at one of the windows in his room

"What is it?" You ask turning to look out it "Starts are coming out. So what?"

"No Dave, we live close enough to this little pond that, well. Actually it'll be easier to explain if I show you first, you look confused." He says standing, and heading toward his door. "Well come on." He says urging you. You stand and let him guide you down that staircase that begins the path of exiting his house. On this path you walk past you get a great chance to feel like a load of laundry is going through the dryer inside your stomach. They're flirting on the couch. They look too comfortable with each other. This is terrible. Somehow John doesn't seem to notice. You guess he's just a bit too slow. The thought of your bro flirting with your best friend's dad makes you feel really weird. Usually you don't give half a shit when your bro's flirting with dudes. But this time it's weird. Why is it so weird?

The sky's lavender and stars are starting to peak out. Small ones and . . . moving ones?

"See Dave, these fireflies are attracted to this pond that's nearby, so they sometimes come out here in summer" he says with a wide smile

"They're really great. Can you like catch them like in movies?"

"I've never really tried. I guess you could though? I'm afraid of hurting them so I don't." He says. That's a lot like him to say. He cares about a lot of people and animals. Besides cats. He's allergic, and he always is reminding you how much he hates cats.

The grass is pretty tall and natural looking in John's yard, unlike the bullshit grass on the apartment grounds. It's tempting to run in. Fuck it, you're running around in Johns grass. He doesn't seem to know how to react to your random movement at first, but finds himself running with you. You start chasing him. You don't even know why. Do you need a reason? You've been on airplanes all morning and afternoon. Wow, you start to feel really dorky as you chase your friend into his back yard. You just plop your ass in the grass, half because you're tired. And half because you don't want to look like too much of a nerd around john. He just sort of laughs at you before sitting near. You've probably ruined your reputation with John forever.

You don't regret it.

"Well you haven't let me down Dave; we're already having a good time." He says with a laugh

"We've been having a good time since you jumped out of your car John." You say, both of you laughing more. You don't think you've ever acted so uncool in your life.

You've always been curious about small things. And since you ran behind John's house with him you've been wondering something. "What's that?" You ask pointing at the jolly jelloton creature on a spring.

"It's an ecto-ghost dude." He says.

"Oh okay. I don't know where you learn about some of this shit John."

"You haven't seen ghostbusters yet?"

"I fell asleep halfway through it."

"I know what we're doing tonight." He says with a big smile.

***I've only seen fireflys in Montana.**

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	4. Chapter 4

**So! To be honest I didn't think anyone would be interested in this fic, but I'm kinda glad people are enjoying it! I'll try to update it as often as possible. Hope you guys enjoy further c:**

**I know this chapter is sort of short but I'll make up for it later. **

It was a pretty fun evening, although perhaps screwing around all night before watching a movie doesn't help you stay awake through it. Though eating cereal on a warm summer morning, in the dew dripped grass of Washington, with your best friend no less, is pretty refreshing and calming. Though perhaps you could do without him teasing you as you spoon your peanutty dino-bites into your mouth.

"I can't believe you crashed so hard dave." He says with a sugar coated smile

"Fort building is hard work bro." You got this.

"You were practically cuddling with me." He chuckles.

"You're over exaggerating Egbert."

"No I'm not, you were all over my arm!"

You just shove more of that penutbuttery goodness into your face to avoid the possibility of being embarrassed by this conversation. Besides, this is a nice morning, it should be enjoyed. Though, Egbert gets to enjoy it just about every day you bet. The sky is so clear and the birds are so sweetly singing, this cereal is delicious and you don't even give a shit anymore.

You hear Egbert's door open, and look to see what's up. I mean, the wind doesn't just open doors bro. speaking of 'bro' there's your bro, holding open the goddamn door for john's dad and politely seeing him off to work. Your bro is never polite, and a panic alarm is about ready to go off in your head because you know this is a huge sign that your bro wants to hop on the D. You'll try not to think about that, let's focus on john. Johns waving goodbye to his dad. You don't want to focus on his dad, that means focusing on your bro flirting with him, which is exactly what you don't want to focus on. Fuck this merry go round.

"Hey john can I have more cereal?"

"Sure go ahead!" And with that you stand up and hurry your ass to the kitchen to find a distraction, you mean get more cereal.


	5. Chapter 5

You don't think there's anything more reassuring than the sound of cereal dropping into a nice glass bowl. Yes, cereal is the number one thing that'll get your mind off everything. Its so great, it's basically dog biskets for people. Even better than dog food, you only need one bowl. Cereal is the number one thing in life that says "You've got shit under control. Stop worrying dog you got this." Who're you kidding, there's a glass of OJ on the counter and you're pretty damn sure that Mr. Egbert isn't the one who forgot it.

Your suspicions are lifted as the main suspect walks into the kitchen and leans agenst a counter nearby. None other than your bro. You want to lose your cool. Scratch that, you want to throw it out the window.

"Bro!" you start but the saucy smile he puts on when you say his name makes you nearly fall over the edge of distress "Bro, stop! Why are you-" You flail your arms around so that your best friend won't magically hear from outside "With johns dad!?" You admit you might sound a bit whiny right now, but this is a good reason.

"Oh whatever do you mean dave?" He asks, that lil' shit. If you were older than him you'd beat his ass for using a tone of voice like that, just because it pisses you off to no end.

"You know what I mean!" You say, you think you're going to fall over, you don't exactly know why but your brothers presence is making you panic more than you need to.

Your bro seems to chuckle at your distressed movements and tone, and speaks calmly like he always does "Don't worry dave, I ain't gonna' ruin your week with john, I promise." You doubt this.

"Well, then stop freaking me out and fli-flirting with johns dad okay." You still really don't want to think about that right now. But the way your brother leniently drinks his oj during your sentence assures you that he'll try to keep it on the down low. You'd like to think that's what it's doing. "Thanks bro, I'm going to go out and eat some dinos now." You say lifting your bowl and trying to hurry out of the kitchen.

"Ya' know dave, Johns daddy's just on call." A loud storm of curse words clouds up your head, you hope he gets called into work a lot, you hope your bro doesn't get to see him for the rest of the week. Then you can freely take that time to chill with your best bro and not think about your real bro coming onto his dad.

Sometimes you're so done with your bro.

* * *

**I apologize for not really having time to work on this, I should be able to get more time for it soon. c: **


	6. Chapter 6

**I know I've been gone for a while, but I just kinda have been busy with other things from fanfictions recently. However, I've been writing more in my spare time and intend to continue in this habit. This story is not only enjoyable to you guys but It's probably going to become a big challenge for me, as well as a good writing exercise. But that's alright. I love challenges, I hope you guys will keep checking in I'll try to update 1-3 times a week alright c: Also chapters are going to start getting longer after this one. **

"Hey John?" He looks up at you from the grass as you walk out the door, silently telling you to continue "How do you feel about my bro?"

"Your bro?"

"Yeah."

"Well I guess I haven't really talked to him much, so I don't really have an opinion on him. Is he mean or something?"

"No, no, no, no!" He still must be oblivious. God, you just want to scream at him to tell your bro to back off his dad. But you can't. If he doesn't even see it happening, he'll probably just laugh at you. "Hes a really nice guy, that's not what I meant."

"What did you mean then?" He asks, dumbfounded.

"Never mind it. Let's just enjoy the morning before it gets hot ok." He simply smiles at you as you sit beside him. Wow, he really is just a bright ass guy.

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	7. Chapter 7

You're probably destined to be a shutin. You know it by the way this walk with your best friend is going to make you you like a strawberry. You really like chatting it up with your best friend, and just chillin, but you do kinda wish it'd have been a rainy day or something. You think you'd be better off in a skillet. At least you have sunglasses. A lot of other people don't. Why _are_ there so many people? Why are there so many _seemingly gay_ people? The amount of people is growing as you get closer to, town? You think its downtown?

"Hey John, where are we going again?" You ask, realizing you weren't really paying attention the first time he'd told you.

"Oh, just downtown Dave. There's a lot of cool things In town!" He says rather cheerily. You guess you'd probably show John around your town if he was the one visiting you. You don't really go too many places in your own town though. Not a lot of people do. You guess its a lot different here.

"Is there normally this many people walking around town?" You ask, out of honest curiosity.

"No, but I don't recall there being anything special supposed to happen this weekend. We could ask someone." He suggests. But you don't want to. Sometimes you're really wary of strangers. Its just a little thing that tugs at you, the idea of speaking with someone who you have an unsure trust with.

"No, its fine, if something's going on we'll find out ourselves. Wouldn't that be more fun?" You say giving your genuine strider smile of 'we've got this bro.' And you do. But suddenly the crowd begins to thicken. And you begin to feel nervous. You're not really use to crowded spaces.

"Better not get lost Dave." John says grabbing your hand and helping you through the crowd. Why's everyone just standing around? They seem rather excited too. And the streets cleared. You don't know if you want to stay around to find out or if you'd rather get out of the crowd and not puke, because that's how you honestly feel right now. But you lose the choice when john stops to examine the road. You try to as well. Some people are holding signs, you don't bother to read them though. You feel a nudge agenst your shoulder, and look in the direction of the abnormal feel of someone else touching you. Theres a girl in perhaps her mid twentys hugging on another girl with her hair tied back. She says to you 'Good luck lil guy' her sentence seemed longer than it meant to, and it didn't make sense to you. You conclude this lady is most definitely drunk. But to be polite you say thank you. Your bro always told you to treat girls with respect. Her suspected 'girlfriend' says sorry to you and directs the one who'd spoke first to watch the road again.

You keep contemplating these words of hers. She didn't just say them. She didn't seem _that_ drunk. It's not until a colorfully decorated float begins to head down the street, and the crowd roars. All you can think about is the words on that fucking float. "~Gay Pride Festival~" painted across a confetti rainbow. You tug at johns arm a bit, gaining his attention.

"Hey john, can we go to that park you wanted to go to? I'm starting to feel claustrophobic."

"Oh! Why didn't you say so, we can go Dave." He says beginning to pull you through the crowd again. You hate to diverse his interest, but you think you'd feel more terrible if someone assumed they were gay and directed it to John instead of you. You don't want your best friend to feel awkward around you for the rest of the week.

"Hey John, my hands getting sweaty." You say, sure it's an excuse but it's also the truth.

"Oh, if you think you can keep up I'll let go." You tell him you can, and continue to follow after he lets go of your hand. Luckly this road was toward where the parade was going to come to an end, and you could walk past it easily instead of being forced to maneuver through a strange route. But the thing that's racing to the front of your thoughts right now is you sitting in the shade, and the cool grass. Yeah, this park is going to be a lot better than that stupid sunny parade.

**So this chapter kinda just came to me. I've been excited for pride coming up soon, so It inspired me. It's such a loving environment. I can't wait for pride! ^u^**

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	8. Chapter 8

**I didn't notice until now, but cranberry juice is very story inspiring. **

As John hands you his water bottle you get a sudden urge to pour it all over your body and roll around in the cold moist grass. You won't of course, that's rude. It's not your water, nor your grass. Plus it'd be miserable to walk back to John's house in moist hot clothing. You think scientists said liquids help you think, you think they're right considering all the ridiculous stuff you think about when you happen to be drinking.

"Trees are so great." You say setting down the water bottle. You absolutely love the shade they produce. And hey, wow, free air. A+ object.

"Yeah, they are." John says with a chuckle.

"Hey, I think a drunk lady thought we were gay." You say. You know its random but you've decided you should probably inform him.

"That's a bit weird. But I guess I don't care too much about some stranger assuming something weird about me."

"You don't care about your self image John?" You ask.

"I do, but I mean why does the opinion of someone I'll probably never see again matter? I know we're not like.. gay." For some reason he sounded a bit awkward about that. Maby that's not a normal thing around where John lives. There were a lot of people at that parade though. Maby it's just John. It kind of bothers you that John seems a bit iffy on something that applies to your brother and possible his dad though. However, you smile. Perhaps it's because you know John isn't going to get all awkward over something little. Maby it's something you haven't yet figured out. But for some reason you like how John knows you're best friends, and doesn't care what other people think. That's probably been your favorite thing about John. He's always just himself. He's not afraid for people judging who he's really turning out to be.  
"We're not are we?" He asks in a somewhat confused tone due to your sudden silent thought process.

"No john, we're better than gay. We're best friends." You both smile and laugh at this, it's the most honest statement you think you've ever made, and you know John knows how honest it is as well.

After a long while of laughter and what seemed to be a shorter walk than the one into town, the two of you arrive back at Johns, laughing your way into the house. John asks you if you'd like him to make you some lunch, you don't know if you're that hungry, but after john challenging you with "I bet I could make a sandwich twice as good as one you could make" You find yourself in a sandwich making contest. Well convinced you will win. And with the sandwiches finished, and two plates holding a half of each, you're sitting at john's dinner table, grinning at each other and boasting about whose may be best. But then you realize something seems to pick at your mind.

"You probably put too much hot sauce on yours." John says.

"You said you liked hot sauce bro, and besides I put a proportionate amount on there." You say, a million percent convinced that you could make a better sandwich knowing what sorts of sandwich materials you've had at your disposal in the past.

"I bet it'll drown out all the other good flavors on there. I topped mine with paprika, which is subtle but will probably make the difference." Sure a lil' spice will change the entire sandwich as much as a lil' bat will change the entire football game. You use bats in football right?

"I put pickles on it and you put some pickled carrot bullshit on yours, why are there even carrots in your pickle jar John? You have the most ridiculous pickles I have ever seen. Are they having a little party in that jar, is it a special open club. No fancypants pickle only sports clubs at your house or something?"

"Yeah Dave, you're stuck with just pickles and I've got a whole garden party going on."

"There's not much of a party going on at your house. . . Seriously where is everyone, is my bro even here right now?" You've been checking your peripheral vision for your brother, but haven't really heard or seen any of him since your outing with John.

"I don't know, it is pretty quiet though." He agrees. "Maby he heard of some place he wanted to visit or something?"

"Maby, he'll be back around here sometime though." You say with a shrug. Your bro's a little irresponsible, but he's not that bad. You know he didn't just abandon you with John. At least you know he won't be able to harass John's dad, he's at work today. Your bro is like that, he gets normal pay checks, but only has to work four days out of the week, unless he gets called to a meeting or other special things. He's more into his commissioning business than his actual job though. Making those weird 'puppets' you're still convinced they're just decorative sex toys. Why else would he make latex inserts and convenient washing methods? They just creep you out. You wish he wasn't so into his 'little hobby'.

You wish your sandwich would have won. But in all honesty, you both know it came down to a tie.

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	9. Chapter 9

**I've decided due to my bullshit recently with my fic, you will all get a bonus chapter soon, what do I mean by bonus chapter you may ask? Well wait and see my darlings. Thank you to all of you who've stuck around this far 3 **

You don't think you've ever seen John's drawings before today. They're not half bad actually, they remind you of some sort of mickey mouse cartoon. But they're probably better than yours. I mean you really love your drawing style but you've always secretly aspired to draw more like a batman comic, or like a cartoon, or anything that's more of a smooth drawing. At the same time you know your confidence in your own comic's is greater than the confidence of a professional mountain climber. The comedic aspects make up for the, admitably, sloppy drawings. However you like that they add to the comedy. They have a nice touch you think. But you just guess that serious artwork isn't your forte. But you admit the reason you continued to write your comics is because people enjoyed them. You probably would have stopped if you didn't get encouragement soon after you'd posted the second comic.

Your focus is suddenly broken, when soft music is interrupted by the door to Johns house being nearly slammed open. John looks past your shoulder toward the noise, and your attention directs itself to follow. Of course its your brother noisily entering, though for some reason you're not the one he's paying attention to. For some reason you don't understand what's up, and then the one he's chatting it up with enters the house. You should have known. Of course its Johns dad. _Of course. _

Laughing it up like the little shit he is.

"Hey John, wanna go draw up in your room." You hope he's not getting the feeling that you hate your bro. You just really want to be away from him at this particular moment.

"Of course!" He says, beginning to pick up as many papers, crayons and pencils he can. You do the same, and you feel like the two of you are racing up to johns room.

You laugh, you don't want to think so, but nervously. Of course John gives you a smile of encouragement, and you both end up chuckling before getting comfortable, and drawing once again, John on his bed, and you on his floor. You personally have always thought the floor is a pretty comfy place, and end up declining when he asks if you want to sit at his desk or somewhere else. Admitably, its also because you're feeling a bit lazy. You guess laziness comes with a price. You're feeling a bit peckish. Fuck that you're just thirsty. You don't need any of that pomph vocabulary, what is this a roleplay? You wonder if John would be okay with getting you some water. But you also want to see his drawing. Maby the floor wasn't the best choice now that you think of it. What does it matter though? You'll most likely get to see his drawing anyways.

"What're ya' drawing up there Johnny boy?" You ask, trying to mask your curiosity with coolness. You've mastered this art.

"Whats with the silly names?" He chuckles "Just some lizards and dragons." He holds up his paper, it's covered nearly top to bottom with these silly orange lizards, and red dragons. Wait the dragons don't have wings. What the fuck.

You don't point out the flaw of course. That's just rude. Maby he wanted the dragons to be able to fly with some bullshit dragon magic. Who knows?

"What about yours Dave?" He asks.

"I drew a dog." You did. You hold up your paper to show him the polka dotted dog, with big floppy ears and a cutesy little snout. He's sniffing at a flower. That's not girly though. That's just what dogs do. Sniff weird shit. "Hey John are you getting thirsty? Cause I am."

"Now that you mention it I do think I'm a bit thirsty,Would you like me to go and get you something to drink?" He offers.

"Yeah thank you." You say. Johns so nice. You watch him leave the room and continue on to your own drawings, occasionally studying johns style. You really like it. How did he get so good at drawing and never tell you?

You've decided you want to draw a dragon now. But not a red one, you like red and all, but there can be other colored dragons. You've decided you want your dragon to be a big blue and purple one. That'll be cool. With big horns and claws. Oh yes. This dragon will be wonderful.

Although halfway through the drawing, the silence is abruptly disturbed by a door again. You look to see whats the racket. And there's John, looking surprised, and having a lack of glasses of water.

"Dave. ." He says. His young voice cracking under whatever stress and surprise may be causing it. "I need to tell you something weirD." You take off your shades, to show you're paying attention to what he has to say. And shock and embarrassment slowly consume your face as he starts and goes on.

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	10. Chapter 10

**Well, here it is. The special bonus chapter. **

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Your name is John Egbert, and you're having the best week you think you've ever had in your life. You've met your best friend for the first time, its hasn't been all yucky and rainy outside, you've been able to draw and make some amazing food in your house during the time it was quiet. You really have been enjoying Daves company. He's such a good friend. Just as good in person as he is online. You really like that he wasn't hiding himself behind a screen. You love how he always has the confidence to be himself. And you also wish you were a better artist, like him. You've enjoyed his drawings since he first introduced them to you. However, you don't really get Dave's sense of humor sometimes. You think that he doesn't really understand deep, true comedy like you do. But a sort of slapstick humor is good every once in a while. And even if Dave can get a bit lazy sometimes he's probably the best friend you've ever had, and you can deal with grabbing a glass of water for your friend, you hope you've been a good host. Your dad would be proud of you for that.

As you walk from your room you're not in a hurry. You don't really like to be in a hurry when you're doing things. You try to be tidy, and all that, even if you aren't really that great at it. You're building the habit.

Your steps down the staircase are quiet, your bare feet just making the softest of padding noises as you place them on each stair. Your daddy told you never to place a mirror in front of a window. He may be a professional man, but he also can be superstitious at times. This is why the only mirror outside of the bathroom was placed beside the door downstairs, in a place where no window could sneak into its view. You think you catch a glimpse of Dave's brother's hat in the mirror. You think you can manage being a good host to him as well!

You step down from the last stair. You always love the feel of the wood floors agenst the balls of your feet when you walk down the stairs, except when its dirty that is.

As you begin to walk around the base of the stairs toward your kitchen, you see something abstract to you. So abstract in fact that your jaw drops and you speed back around onto the bottom stair. Hiding behind the thick wall of a railing, your mouth covered by your hand as your brain tries to reconstruct the abstraction. Your dad was there, and Dave's brother. Oh he was _Clearly There. _You hesitantly take another peek around the wall that divided the living room from the staircase.

Your glasses weren't in need of maintenance. That was for sure. And their frames held a bizarre moment, one that you could barely comprehend; Dave's brother heightened by the lap of your own father and, though the embarrassment of the sight turns your face into an oven, they were practically consuming each other's faces. Your stomach churns watching the strange scenario, even for the small moment you've taken to make sure you weren't delusional. You hide yourself in the staircase once more. Trying to comprehend the situation, so abstract, almost surreal in a way.

To be honest you didn't even think your father was sexual in the least. But for some reason he didn't seem to objectify in said situation. No, in fact he seemed to be doing quite the opposite. And you don't know what Dave would do if he found out; you couldn't explain such an image to him could you? Was it even reality or is it something you're imagining, have you become dehydrated? Have you gone into a heat stroke and fallen to the floor unconscious? You lightly smack at your cheeks, not loud enough to make a sound. God no. You're certainly awake. You deny the fact that you're nearly trembling. You don't know how to bring this up to your dad, you barely know how to bring this up with your best friend.

But if your dad is doing that sort of thing. . . ? Is this to say he's been keeping a sort of secret from you? The thought scares you, you never want to think your dad is hiding things from you. It scares you.

You decide you need to find a place to sanction. The only of which you can think of is to join your best friend in your room. But how will you explain the lack of water glasses? You surely can't lie to your best friend. You get up from your step and your stomach jumps a mile when you feel yourself nearly trip. If you get discovered you know it will be uncomfortable to you. You make your way to your room with much haste, and you know Dave must be confused at first, though you need to take a moment to think over what to say to him. And although you do so in a second it seems almost like a millennium.

"Dave." You start, you feel your voice crack but you don't mind it for once. "I have to tell you something, . Weird. " You watch him pull his glasses from his face, you can tell he's serious and ready to listen. You need to smack him and tell him to stop being such a good guy when you're trying to explain that you just saw his older brother and your father eating face for lunch.

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**_In short: _**_Probs not another chapter from someones perspective besides dave, not going to write every day of dave&johns week together, john=not homophobe, if u want my url ask me, you can request a fanfic from me if u give prompt. I'm probs not going 2 work on it until I'm done w/ this fic. Thank for reading my fic 3_

**So I know it's not much of a bonus chapter, but it's from someone else's perspective, and that'll be pretty rare in this story. I probably won't have another chapter like this as a matter of fact, unless of course inspiration for it hits. And seeing as this is the first out of two main peaks in the story I'm going to explain here that I'm not going to explain ever day of their week together.  
Unless it for some reason gets requested, then I can write it out in a separate piece after this one. Once again thank you all for following and enjoying this story. I'm going to get straight here john is /not/ homophobic. To be honest I could see him reacting with the same amount of confusion and anxiety if bro happened to be sis. John and Dave are some of the least promiscuous people in my headcanons most of the time. (Ok I lied I can picture Dave getting pretty promiscuous as he grows older but yeah.) **

**Anyways straying from headcanons and such, if someone would like to request my tumblr url, or a fanfic for me to write I'm open to them. However I will not start on another fic until this one is finished, also just because I'm open to requests doesn't mean I have to write ever last one of them. Also If you give me the prompt "You should write another brodad fic!" Or something like that, it will be harder for me to write because I don't have a lot to go off of, and most likely simply asking for a ship name like that will most likely make me skip the suggestion because, again, it doesn't give me much to go off of. **

**Again thank you guys, I'm sorry I just wrote a little book in the side notes.**

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	11. Chapter 11

**Whoops haven't updated for a while. I got really caught up in finals and then a drawing for this contest, I guess I just haven't found time to think about how to continue until now! I've roughly had the idea but I think it's finally coming in clearer c:**

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You know its coming; you _know_ he's going to tell you he saw his dad and your bro up to something. You just _know_ he's going to say that's what was happening downstairs.

"I.. Kind of saw something" His awkward pauses are so understandable it almost hurts you physically. "My dad.. and... your bro..." You can't say anything, or move for that matter, like jesus is suddenly giving you an invisible megahug, and your lungs can't expand. Your throat aches, and you feel so stiff. "Um.. well. Dave." He's urging you to take the hint, you don't want to, even though you know what he saw. You know what was up. But you raise your eyebrow as if you're the most clueless person on the face of this earth. And he continues. "They were..." his voice grows to one a mouse could easily converse with. "kind of... kissing... on my couch." Your stomach does a back flip tony hawk would be proud of. You knew this was it. But somehow the surprise is making your body quiver. You can't figure out what to say. It seems every time you try to open your mouth your lungs refrain from any possible movements.

"Dave.." He says in a subtly concerned tone "I'm sorry"

You look up quickly. Is he implying this is his fault? Is he implying you may be angered with _him_? It's not his fault your brother fucks up everything for you. Or for everyone.  
You feel like your bro gave you a nice rug to stand on, just to pull it out from your feet. You hear yourself saying it. 'John, you shut up! You have nothing to be sorry for.' but the only sound you can actually emit is the soft clap of one of your hands covering half of your face as you feel yourself tear up. This is not manly at all. How the fuck do you impress your best friend by crying in _his_ own house?

From what you can see in your slightly fogged vision is that John's quivering, ever so slightly, as if he doesn't have a clue what to say or do.

"You don't need to be." You can feel your voice quake, it sounds like someone broke a tile floor using a cinder block. However you don't move, you're too afraid this will pressure out some unwanted bodily fluids. You _know_ how mad he is at you. You _know_ how badly you've fucked up. "It's my fault bro." _Bro_ "I-" You pause when you feel your voice ready to break again. "I should have known he'd pull this kind of shit." You were going to say more, but you're stopped by a warm solid surface finding its way around your shoulder.

"You stop that Dave." You quickly lift your head, blinking in the process, your face floods. You're silent. John's trying to smile, but he looks so confused, concerned, _Guilty. _All the things he shouldn't be. "There's. No fault here." He sounds so compassionate. You wish you could be more like this. But you know you're cold. You've never been warm, just cold, pale, and probably a terrible friend.

"I'm sorry." You rub one of your cheeks off and feel your lower eyelids begin to sting a bit.

"Do you want to watch a movie to get your mind off it?" He asks, you know he wants the same affect on himself. You nod. The two of you end up watching a whole selection until you become too tired to sit up anymore.


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